Anger is one of the most basic human emotions. It’s normal to feel angry because it means that your boundaries were crossed. It can even be helpful to know when to take action.
Anger becomes a problem when it becomes overwhelming and hurts you and the people around you. Many people ask themselves, “How do I know if I have anger issues and when my anger is valid?” In this article, we’ll look at anger issues, symptoms, and possible causes so that you know when your anger is appropriate.
What Are Anger Issues?
Anger itself is not bad. In healthy amounts, anger can protect us and help us make decisions to keep us safe. It’s important to understand that “anger issues” are not an official mental health diagnosis in the DSM-5. But it can be a sign of emotional dysregulation that shows up as a symptom of other conditions.
Realizing that your anger may be unhealthy is a huge sign of self-awareness. There are no evaluations for anger issues, but a “Do I have anger issues?” Quiz can be a great alternative. It provides you with personalized tips to regulate anger and shows you directions on which areas of yourself to explore further.
Types of Anger Issues
Anger can take on very different forms depending on how it’s expressed. Here are four of the most common types:
- Assertive Anger. Expressing frustration when your boundaries are crossed without threats or harm to yourself or others. This is actually the healthiest form of anger. Usually, it happens through healthy communication. For example, telling your partner, “I felt hurt when you dismissed my opinion” assertively, but calmly, as a way of standing up for yourself.
- Passive-Aggressive Anger. Instead of showing anger openly, people suppress it and express it in subtle, indirect ways. This might look like sarcasm, silent treatment, making “jokes,” etc. The root of anger is not addressed, but the problem doesn’t resolve itself and may surface later in relationships.
- Open Aggressiveness. A loud and sometimes destructive form of anger. This is what people usually think are symptoms of anger issues. It can escalate into yelling, breaking objects, or even physical violence. Open aggression is meant to intimidate or harm another person emotionally or physically in order to soothe inner injustice.
- Internalized Anger. The main symptom of internalized anger issues is negative self-talk. Here, the anger is directed inward. Self-criticism, denying yourself joy or basic needs, or even self-harm because you “deserved” it. Isolating from others can also be a way of turning anger against yourself.
How Do I Know If I Have Anger Issues? Checklist
Because symptoms of anger issues can appear in different forms, use this checklist to reflect on whether you might be experiencing unhealthy patterns in how you handle anger.
Assertive Anger (Healthy Expression)
This type of anger is not typically harmful.
- I can express my frustration clearly.
- I don’t yell or intimidate others when I’m angry.
- I can state my needs directly and calmly.
- I usually know why I feel angry.
- I still respect others’ boundaries while defending my own.
Passive-Aggressive Anger
Symptoms of anger issues that are expressed indirectly:
- I can’t help but go silent when I am angry, not to harm others.
- When I’m angry, I don’t want to talk about why I feel this way.
- I use sarcasm when I’m irritated, even if my close ones want to talk openly.
- I can agree to do something and then intentionally ignore or delay doing it.
- Sometimes I suppress my anger to the point I can’t keep it inside anymore.
Open Aggressiveness
- I yell and insult when angry.
- I curse a lot even after a small inconvenience.
- I can take my anger out on random objects: doors, dishes, pillows, etc.
- I’ve been told that my temper scares other people.
- Almost every conversation with my close ones turns into a conflict.
Internalized Anger
Symptoms of internalized anger issues:
- I call myself names when making mistakes.
- When something bad happens, I catch myself thinking, “This is exactly what I deserved.”
- I sometimes punish myself by skipping meals or not sleeping, replacing them with work.
- I don’t like to engage in joyful activities when I haven’t earned them, such as when I wasn’t productive, ate something unhealthy, or hurt my family, etc.
- I think that I don’t deserve all the nice people in my life.
- I had urges to self-harm or actually self-harmed.
- I isolate myself when upset.
What Causes Anger Issues Symptoms?
Mental Health Conditions
- Depression. Deep dissatisfaction with life can turn into anger and aggression against the world, people, and even oneself.
- Bipolar disorder. Sudden mood swings can lead to periods of intense irritability and rage.
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Defiance and anger issues are the main symptoms of ODD. Although usually diagnosed in childhood, this condition can show up later in life if the individual was masking.
Neurodevelopmental Conditions
- ADHD. Emotional dysregulation caused by a lack of impulse control can sometimes make a person with ADHD highly irritable and angry with others.
- Autism. Anger in people with autism usually comes from sensory sensitivity. But this neurodevelopmental condition can also hinder understanding of social cues, which makes people on the spectrum unable to manage their anger.
Life Circumstances and States
- Grief and loss. We can be angry at the world, doctors, ourselves, and even the lost loved ones. Anger is how longing and helplessness show up. It’s a normal part of grieving someone or something.
- Substance use. Alcohol or drugs lower inhibitions, making aggressive reactions more likely.
- Chronic stress or burnout. Prolonged pressure reduces patience. People become irritable and more likely to lose their ability to regulate anger.
Personality and Traits
Some people simply have a lower frustration tolerance or a more reactive temperament, making them more prone to angry outbursts.
In most cases, symptoms of anger issues don’t have a single cause but arise from a combination of biology, environment, and personal history.
What Do I Do About My Anger Issues? Takeaway
If you recognize yourself in the checklist of anger issues symptoms above, the good news is that anger issues can be managed with the right tools:
- Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and anger management programs help identify triggers. At first, a person tries to avoid them. But as soon as they learn healthy ways to respond to triggers and manage their anger, they can be slowly exposed to triggers.
- Evaluation. A professional evaluation can determine whether your anger stems from mental health conditions or other factors.
- Practical self-regulating skills. Relaxation techniques and mindfulness are the most common ones. But a lot of people also opt for techniques that work just for them. For example, imagine that a person you’re talking to is a child. Or clenching their jaw and muscles as a way to direct anger into the body. The main thing is to unclench and relax everything afterwards.
Remember: it’s not your fault if you show some anger issues symptoms. But it is your responsibility to keep yourself and others safe. You’re not alone. Millions of people work on managing their anger and building healthier relationships because of it.
